Equilibrium

There are times in life

when you realize

that you were "supposed to" have failed --

but you didn't,

that you were to "supposed to" have crumpled --

but you wouldn't ...

because you have

your own vessel to sail,

and survival demands

that you never help others

rock your own boat.

Once Somebody's Daughter

She has loved me, for the last two-thirds of my life,
in a different way,
which I'm supposed to understand --
but which I don't.
I must be missing a portion of the script.
When she left him,
it went from "what was" in all its rich detail
to a sassy present moment
devoid of the past that included me.
It broke my brain
to have been loved with respect and devotion,
only to become like a forgotten knick-knack.
A shock it's been, every time,
to be addressed, upon the slightest whim,

casually, carelessly, angrily, coyly,
as though to a mistrusted peer.

Counterpoint

A little hippie in me
and a lotta' tomboy
left over, inside,
from yesteryear.
Ain't plannin' on
givin' 'em up --
they're my backbone,
my grit,
my shimmer,
my color --
manly certainty
of my femininity;
they're the earth beneath my feet,
the flowers that bow in the rain,
feast of tones and shades,
nerve and gall.
I will stand my ground,
stomp my feet,
shake my hair,
clank some bracelets,
and howl into the wind
whenever survival
calls.

The Force of Ice

How quickly the surrounding light dims
when they look you in the eye
to vent, at long last,
their hatred of you,
having first paved your way with
lies and degrading sentiments
to all who would listen
and believe,
flinging the froth
of their rabid madness
in every direction,
teaching all who watch them
to adhere to this very treatment
of you
(o nightmare of nightmares,
by which they maul your heart),
their words like ice picks
and old rusty nails
puncturing flesh,
while their hired hand,
with silence and pursed lips,
presumes to judge,
pushing you out
by force of
closing door.

That Feeling of Forever

Love it when a photo draws you in and makes you feel as though you're living in it, sharing in a moment of time on the earth before you were born -- a mind-bending taste of God's ever-present moment, Eternity. 💫

Bare

You wonder about Hell
and live as though it doesn't exist.
I wonder about Heaven
and live without that inspiration.
You judge me as having a faith I do not have
but merely hope for
on the basis of sunrise and sunset,
the ecstasy of shimmering sound,
nature's palette of colors,
and the miracle of life.
You judge me as feeling saved
when in fact I feel lost,
as feeling found when in fact
I feel annihilated.
You judge me as having sets of beliefs in order
like cups and plates in a cupboard,
when in fact I have neither a consistent set of beliefs
nor a cupboard for dishware.

Outside

When it's all going so wrong

there's just no getting it right,

when family of origin feels like it isn't,

there's no homespun recipe

then.